These past few months have been pretty hectic. We are expecting our first child next month (!), which is a fairly big deal in terms of life events and we just moved to a new house in Dublin. Both, while seemingly are just normal things married couples do from time to time, have actually a profound effect on us. You may be wondering why, but these events are the inflection point in our lives...moving us from young newlyweds to "parents". It's a pretty big deal...if you've been there, you would probably agree.
And if you haven't yet, I can break it down for you (from a guy's perspective, at least). I will say that the most pivotal point in a guy's life is the day he proposes to his girlfriend...not when he graduates from college, gets his first car, pays his first taxes, but the instant he is getting down on one knee with a ring in his hand. Why? Because it is from that point on (assuming she accepts), that the train of life leaves the station and won't ever stop again. Example: Proposal -> Engagement -> Marriage -> Children -> 18+ yrs of Parenthood -> Retirement -> etc. There is no break, and no way to stop the cycle. Sure, you can delay some portions of it (i.e. if you decide to have kids later), but essentially the motion has been set, and now it's only a matter of time.
Before the proposal, a guy's life is usually made up of "where are we drinking tonight?" and "how late can I stay up with my friends on PS3?". It's a fairly simple lifestyle, with no real expectations or responsibilities. Not to say having a relationship is bad, but it's a different time in a guy's life. His decision-making is primarily made of "what do I want to do" vs. "what is best for the family?". The event of the proposal signals an end to the carefree life that he was accustomed to, and now his life decisions will be part of something bigger, and hopefully, better.
Les and I have been preparing for this new child of ours for the past several months now; taking classes, reading books, getting supplies ready. But even with that, there is really no way to prepare for the mental and psychological preparation needed of bringing a new person into this world. Someone who will depend on you, someone who will change your life profoundly like never before. We've heard it all. But when it comes down to it, this baby signals a transition in our lives...similar to a guy's transition from bachelorhood to married guy, this is a couple's transition from young newlyweds to young parents. No more carefree lifestyle of traveling on a whim's notice, going out on Friday nights to watch a movie, going to SF on a sunny Saturday to shop, with not a care in the world. Now, we'll have little baby at our side from now on. Don't get me wrong, we're excited and blessed to have a child, but it won't be the same as before.
I think this really hit us hard last night when we were cleaning our old townhouse. Just a few days ago, we were living there...just like everyday for the past 3+ years. It was home. Safe. Secure. Familiar. Now, it was empty; save for a few empty water bottles. I was imagining our furniture back inside as it was, sitting together watching tv, cooking dinner, folding clothes on the ground, playing games in the room, packing for vacation trips, having friends over. It was nice. It was ours, and ours alone, and it was the place that Les and I started our lives together as a married couple. We could only sit and stare for a while, reminiscing the fun times, and just letting the past few weeks settle in on what is happening in our lives right now.
See, I think the move really cemented the fact that our lives are making the move to the next chapter, from young married couple to parents. We are closing the book on one chapter in our lives, and opening it for the next. It's been hard for us, and I think the past several weeks we've hidden that realization by keeping ourselves busy. But when the move finished and we sat down to take a breath, it dawned on us that something was happening, and something sorta sad and scary. Sad that we were saying goodbye to not just our townhome, but goodbye to a carefree life. Scared that the next chapter was unknown...living in a new place, with a new life shortly following it. It hit us hard: the train is moving to the next station, and we just have to say goodbye and thanks for the good times.
So, like that Friends' episode when Rachel moves out of Monica's apartment, it's an "end of an era". But with one end, comes the start of another. I'm not great at dealing with big changes, especially if I love what I have, but I suppose that's the only way to grow and live life. Stagnation is bad, and routine even worse. While we love our old place and its memories, it is time to move on to the next interesting chapter. We are both looking forward to it and excited about the new world our baby girl will bring us to. The important thing was for us to stop, appreciate what we had and enjoy the memories, collect ourselves, say goodbye, flip the page, and boldly move to the next chapter.
